Protecting our values...

So much to tell about this week.... this crazy week of emotions and unknowns. Please forgive me for what could be a lengthy entry...

Our previous blog post was of the clinic that we have been attending for the past three months here in Japan. Before coming to this country, Ray and I were specific about our birth plan: without judgement on any other's choice of childbearing, we passionately wanted a natural deliver, no drugs, strictly breastfed, etc... We wrote these requests out in Ray's contract, knowing that the Japanese culture is very different in their birth approach, but the Lake Stars assured us that all of our wishes would be granted. For the past three months, we have met with the doctor of the clinic in the last blog post. He also confirmed our wishes, but each appointment he would remind us that there was always a possibility that we would have to use medicine or have a planned c-section. We headed his warning because we trusted his word and his experience.

About a month ago during a routine appointment, Ray and I were looking at the ultrasound and we clearly saw our two babies heads down. When the doctor took the ultrasound monitor off, he stated to us that our babies were not well placed for a natural delivery, that one of them was transverse (sideways), and he would need to recommend a c-section. Ray and I asked him to show us what he was talking about, because we had seen something different from him, but he told us to just wait for the next appointment.

Our next appointment we met with one of the "midwives" on staff to go over any questions we may have and to plan out the next month or so. A midwife here is very different from back home: they basically are nurses that have no ability to make decisions apart from the doctor, and thus follow any order the doctor gives. During this appointment, the nurse handed us a plan for a possible c-section, but didn't offer any plan for a natural delivery. She also stated that we would be looking at a scheduled c-section at the beginning of April if the babies did not both go head down. She also said the doctor had suggested that I get put on medication that would prevent me from going into pre-term labor. Finally, she said that it was routine to supplement the babies with milk (not breast milk) and glucose during the first few days because they risk losing weight and getting dehydrated. We told her that a slight loss in weight was normal, and that we would like to have the babies latch on directly after birth. We literally firmly discussed this with her for over 10 minutes before she backed down. Needless to say, this entire appointment rubbed Ray and I wrong, so we decided to write out an amendment to our birth plan that we would not compromise on:

1. Natural labor and delivery, unless a medical emergency

2. No medication of any kind, unless medical emergency

3. Strictly breast feeding, no supplements of any kind given to babies

4. Ray can attend the birth and stay in my room, and any and all changes to this plan MUST be passed through him or I.

To make this very long story shorter, last week we met with a staff member of Lake Stars and went over our concerns and new plan. He supported us wholly in our desires to make this what we wanted it to be, and met with the doctor the following day. After the meeting, he said the doctor was on board with our plan. Which leads me to this past Friday...

Ray was out of town on a road trip. Before he left we prayed specifically that the Lord would give me strength as I went to my appointment Friday night. We thanked the Lord for the confidence that He has given both of us that we are indeed okay in fighting for something like this. We prayed that both heads of the babies would be down- that the doctor wouldnt have any excuse. When Ray left of Friday, I was prepared.

Friday night I went to my appointment. I am now 35 weeks and feeling like these babies could come at any point. He did a routine ultrasound, and what I saw was two heads down. Again, however, the doctor said that BOTH my babies were transverse, and he also said that the weights of the babies were so different that he could only do a planned c-section. (He wanted to plan the c-section because he could then plan to have more people on staff. He is the only doctor of the facility, and if there were an emergency, they would have to transfer one of the babies to the nearest hospital.) He also tried to again put me on pre-term labor meds. But my confidence kicked in.

For the first time I asked him if there was any chance of having these babies delivered naturally. As he avoided my question deliberately for nearly an hour, it finally came down to him being unable to tell us that he was too nervous of the possible risks involved with a natural birth, that the only thing he would be able to do is a c-section. I thank the Lord that my heart found mercy, because all I wanted to do was scream as to why he hadn't admitted that to us earlier...

SO, I left the clinic in tears, wishing Ray were closer and wishing I were in the USA, but also with utter confidence that something would present itself. I spent that night and all day Saturday making phone calls to the women I know around here, presenting them my case. Nearly 15 clinics and hospitals were called on Saturday, all with the same information: they couldn't intake me at the late date of 35 weeks (the cutoff was 34!!), or they couldn't deliver twins naturally (I came to the conclusion that natural twin births are not taught in medical schools. The only procedure that is taught is cesarean). The only lead that came from Saturday was a possible hospital here in our city. They told us that I must come in on Monday or they couldn't take me.

Monday: Ray arrived home late last night and we headed to the hospital with my friend and incredible translator, Nozomu. She's particularly amazing because she is Japanese American, raised in New York, and doesn't have any accent of any kind. This makes things SO much easier! Sunday I sent out a prayer email to a few friends, and this morning, Ray and I again prayed with confidence that the babies would present head down, that everything we had heard from our previous doctor would be erased, and that this door would be our door of hope. When we left for the hospital, we were literally bathed in that hope.

We arrived the enormous hospital and after a bunch of tests, the doctor sat me down for an ultrasound. Firstly, this was a woman doctor, and she speaks English! Secondly, both of our babies were CLEARLY head down in perfect position, their weights are only 200 grams different, and she agreed that under these circumstances, a natural delivery is perfectly fine. HALLELUJAH!!!! Ray and I didn't even know how to respond. We just grabbed each other's hands and let our eyes fill with tears. A PERFECT answer to our prayers. We told our new doctor how eager we are to have her deliver our babies. She smiled and said the same in return.

Some of you may be wondering why we would go to such lengths to fight for something like this. Again, this battle has been a personal preference for Ray and I and doesn't lay judgement on any other person's choice for delivery. For us, however, we mourn this lost art of childbearing. Six of Ray's siblings were delivered without issue in his home in Alaska by his Dad. I have dreamed of allowing the natural course of my body to invite my babies into this world. I have literally rehearsed and dreamed of this, and shared this wish with Ray. It became something so real to us, that it was worth the fight. It didn't feel right to have this natural thing taken away from us. More than anything, we wanted to see the Lord do what He does best: prove his love for us through our faith and confidence in HIM. No matter the outcome at this point (we are still open for cesarean or other if medically necessary), we know we have not gone through this in vain, and are SO excited to face the next step of actually inviting our children into this world, and teaching them about their own story.

Like I said, my apologies for the length of this entry and if you've made it this far, Amen. We should be seeing a couple little Schafers here in the next week or two, and look forward to introducing them to all of you. Until then, believe with all your heart, and He is eager to bless us!

We love you guys!!